Saturday, December 31, 2011

You don't sweat much for a fat girl...

Welll...not exactly.  Actually, I'm a BIG sweat"er".  That's just the partial title of the SECOND book I read over Winter Break!

The book is a series of essays the author writes that are laugh out loud funny.  Seriously.  The actual title is "You don't sweat much for a fat girl - observations on life from the shallow end of the pool".  Celia Rivenbark, bless her heart,  is a southern belle - much like myself.  She writes about subjects from the Octomom, Rapper Fabulous, Barbie, Nebraska, and Snuggies (just to name a few).  Some of my favorite quotes:

"Oh, high road, you are just so very overrated"

"It's tacky to poke fun at people who are, and I will use the clinical psychiatric term here, crazier'n a sprayed roach"

"Y'all I had to start watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey every week because, well, my IQ was just too high"

LMAO!  I chuckled the entire way through this book.  She also wrote:
  • You Can't Drink All Day if you don't Start in the Morning
  • Belle Weather
  • Stop Dressing your Six-year-old like a Skank
  • We're just like you, only Prettier
  • Bless your Heart, Tramp
Which I will also be checking out very soon!

Other highlights of the week -

This week has been sort of a challenge - felt like I was getting sick all week and finally got knocked down with a cold on Thursday.  Luckily, I have had time to to relax and hopefully get well before going back to work next week.

My Aunt Angie and Uncle Jim were in down from North Carolina.  We got to do some mini golfing and Aunt Angie was able to go wedding dress shopping along with my mom, sister, niece, and future mother-in-law.  It was an amazing experience at Patricia's Boutique in Brooksville.  (I actually got my senior prom dress at Patricia's back in the day.)  The staff the was very nice, and Patricia even told me that I had a small waist and big boobs.  What?  Bless her heart!

Friday I basically sat on the couch all day and watched "Say YES to the dress".  It was the bridesmaid edition, and let me just tell you that these women were out of control!  If any one ever talked to me or treated me the way some of these biotches were acting, I certainly would not be friends with them.  Or allow them in my wedding.  Hello!  My super-sarcastic bridesmaid, Lori, sent me a picture of these potential bridesmaid outfits in response:

Bless her heart.

Ben also made me drink my tea with Jim Beam on Friday night.  He claims "it's the second best to moonshine" for getting rid of colds.  What?  Ok, I caved and drank this awful concoction.  Personally, I think he wanted to get me drunk so that he could beat me at Jeopardy.  It was terrible, but I did think it worked!  So strange...

I attempted to run this morning, but didn't get very far.  Only about 6 miles.  Still not feeling 100% and didn't want to push it too hard.  But I did run 100 miles in the month of December and 961(ish) miles the entire year of 2011!  Wow.  I'm setting a goal to run at least 1000 miles in 2012.  Looking at the "stats" over the past year was fascinating.  Surprisingly enough, February was my highest mileage.  My lowest mileage, you ask?  July.  I love summers in Florida :)

Tonight, we are having our second annual stay-in for New Year's Eve.  It will consist of the following:

Thank you for limited edition Biltmore wine Aunt Angie and Uncle Jim! :)

We are so boring, but hope you all have a very safe and Happy New Year!

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